Catchup again

Well my life has seen it's ups and down. As most of you know we all have ups and downs. So just when I think Buddy and I are on the same page loving one another and having a good life things go south.

This morning we got into it, our daughter who is four was awakened by me and asked to go get on some clothes. I hear her crying in the bedroom and I go to help her and she is crying saying "I am sick of you telling me what to do!" So I get angry of course any mother doesn't deserve that much disrespect! So I tell her that she isn't allowed to talk to me like that.

Well Buddy got mad and started yelling. He did the same last night Kailey had come in last night and gotten mad cause I wouldn't make her pop corn, she shoved our heater across the floor and said I am sick of this. He was sleeping on the couch he woke up and yelled at me then to.

It seems like every time we Leap forward we end up back in the same spat with each other. I am SO sick of this shit! Excuse my language, but for the past 5 years we have been in it together we have done nothing but argue and mostly about discipline and child rearing. I mean seriously when she was 7 months old and wanted to touch everything I would smack her hands and he would yell at me!

This is when all the BS started... If I had been allowed to discipline my child then I wouldn't have to worry about having a brat now that talks back and acts like she is 30. She has been allowed to behave this way and it is only worse when he is around.

Also for some odd reason every day this week he has been very grumpy and rude. He hasn't been like this in months and it bothers me cause i feel like whatever is wrong in his life he is taking out on us!

I am just sick of it. I sometimes just wish I could pack up and move far far away but then that wouldn't be fair to Kailey either. I find myself telling her I am going to leave and never come back which later I realize how childish it was to say that to my 4 year old, but I can't say anything to the only adult who lives with me.

I apologised to her before I dropped her off at my mothers and I told her I wasn't going anywhere, and that she would go with me if I ever did go anywhere. She is such a sweet sweet kid, but I feel SO unappreciated when she is allowed to talk to me like a dog! I don't treat my animals that way, but my kids allowed to treat me that way! WHY?

When he gets upset with her or disciplines her I do not say anything, if I do not agree with it I say it to him in another room, as not to disrespect his authority.

I feel really bad that our relationship is SO messed up. I don't know how to fix things like this. I have dealt with him telling me that I have no experience as a parent as he doesn't either and thinking his mother can give us guidance is stupid, I mean yes guidance is good sometimes but his mother had no experience at 17 when she started having children and she just had to learn.

Everyone has his or her own way to raise children there isn't a dang guide book! You just do it and hope it works. Our daughter is headed down a very bad road if things keep going this way! I am SO sick of it being like this. No one should have to deal with this much disrespect parent or not. No adult should be disrespected by other adults or children for that matter!

So for you people out there wanting to have children make sure you are on the same page, cause if you are not then this makes for one messed up backwards relationship with your child.. that is what i have a messed up backwards relationship. I have been trying to fix it and just when it starts getting better he goes and makes it worse!

Also remember that if he really Loves you he will support you and not disrespect you in front of others and your children! This only makes for messy relationships with everyone!

I should change the name of this blog to my F**KED UP Life!