My life these days has be come a tad bit simpler. Yes, Simpler. I am now 33, my children are 12 and 6 years old. Our friend Jeff passed away in January, he was always a great guy, with good intentions but he got me into trouble a lot. I have a husband who thinks that everything in our life should be a secret. I am not sure why. That's right I wasn't married the last time I blogged but we got married finally. My biggest regret is not having a wedding, since this is my first and last marriage.
I am laid off work right now. We are going to just stick out the lay off and I am going to hang out with my children. For once in my life I do not have a job. I have been working since I was 15. I miss my friends from work and have been trying to get work done here at my house.
We have a bad bathroom, a Bathroom that needs to be finished, a lot of bad floors that need to be fixed so my job has been to wrangle children, the lawn, clear a lot, and try to hire someone to tackle this mess here at home called home repair.
My girls have gotten soo big. My house is constantly shrinking, I need a larger house. My husband now speaks of having one more child, but having my children 6 years apart just seems like a super big mistake. My 12 year old is way to mean to my 6 year old and it feels just awful she has no one to play with.
Our dog Daisy passed away, our cat Miss kitty passed also. Kailey cried for days, both were super old so we were expecting it. We have been just beating the storm, chilling out here at home. We hope for the best for our little family, and really hope one day to afford a decent sized house and enjoy our life while it lasts. I will try to start doing this better but I know I let it go for 4 years. Lets hope that today is the beginning of a new phase.
Its been a LOOOONG time
Yes I have had little to no time to post.
My oldest daughter will be 9 soon.
My youngest just turned 3-years-old.
I want another baby.
He wants no more.
Sooo...
On with the blogging.
Im still unwed. Why? Well I will fill you in. While I was pregnant with Emma (youngest 2011)
I had a hard time. I suffered a lot of set backs in anxiety, and when you are pregnant you will say and do anything, its like someone else has taken over your body. So if I offended anyone while I was pregnant I am sorry.
I had sat a date to get married, but the man I have 2 children by and who harrasses me atleast once in a while about why I wont marry him is imperfect.. I don't want perfect but I want a decent wedding. I know that sounds so selfish. But I told some co-workers I was going to get married around the end of march. So then he tells my boss and 2 of my co-workers he has no idea what they are talking about because it makes him uncomfortable to talk about his "personal business" in the presence of others. so I was like Oh fucking well we wont do a damn thing just live like most people do unmarried with children.
So ladies and gentlemen here are my rules for those that havent gotten themselves stuck in sucky situations yet.
Amanda's Rules for relationships 101
1. Guys if she makes you miserable dont drag out the relationship.
2. Girls if he makes you miserable leave... dont wait till you have kids and have to "share".
3. If you can't do for her things that make you uncomfortable find a girl that will do just what you want.
4. Girls things shouldn't always go the way he wants or you want there is a thing called compromise and we should always use this. you cant always have it your way.
5. Children are not just HER or HIS responsibility a real man helps with the children.
6. The house is a family things children and men and women should work together to make it a home.
7. Everything that goes on is not a sinister plot to get one up on the other. If this is how your relationship is GET OUT its not a relationship it is a horror fest.
8. EVERYTHING in your life should be chosen by both of you. not by one. and it should be for the good of your whole family.
9. Credit card debt is bad you want to build credit only use it when you can pay it.
10. Stay out of debt as much as possible.
11. Buy a house as early as possible, you do not want to be in debt for a home until your kids are grown and gone and you are retired.
12. You should always have joint bank accounts and a savings separate which you separate a small amount of your paychecks so you have money to spend on what you may need, such as a surprise for the other.
13. You (either of you) should never be selfish.
14. You should never fight in front of your chidlren.
15. You should always have time for each other.
16. If you cant be faithful do not get in a relationship.
17. You should care deeply enough for the person you are with to not hurt them with things that are not true, or things you do not think about them.
These are just my rules. It is unfair for yourself or the other person to stay if you have no common sense to compromise and to TALK not scream and yell about things. There is never a reason to scream and yell and finger pointing never fixes a thing.
Emma is growing, she will be 2 in less than 6 months. I can't believe how big she is getting. She wears me out. We have all been sick this week. I have had some sort of pneumonia bronchitis, slur... it is awful.
I honestly have no clue what it is that I have. All I know is I do not want both my children to get it. Especially since I have been letting my mother take them to the doctor and she has already caused Kailey to miss 5 appointments and they have warned me that if Kailey misses one more that she will be booted from the Dr. Office and that will cause a huge burden on me. I am not sure why my mother can seem to remember what church is having what for free on what days, but can not remember her grand daughters weekly appointment.
I have never missed more than 2 appointments in one year. Let alone 5 in less than 4 months. I was only aware of 2 that mom claims got changed and she claims they changed them without letting her know. Kailey has to go 1 time a week to get her allergy shot. My mother takes her so I do not have to take off work because they do not make them convenient for Work or School.
You can only schedule shots Tues - Thurs between 8am and noon. Now all Children who are above a certain age go to school between 8am and 3pm, and those of us mothers who are not fortunate enough to stay at home work normally Monday - Friday, I am blessed with Friday's off, therefore, if they were on a Friday the only place that would be inconvenienced is school, but they do not give them on Friday but I think they should.
I get so sick of Allergies, I am glad she is back on the shots because apparently it will help her to out grow them. I am just stressing because I can not get proper help edgewise. My mother and father can't take her to the doctor and get her there when the appointments are because they are always sleeping. I hate leaving Emma there knowing that they sleep so much she is not properly supervised nor do they work with her or let her watch educational programing. It is all I have to work with though.
I would really love it if we had a better support system. I want people who are just as worried as I am about their health and education. We wonder why Emma is talking much yet, it is her lack of being worked with in speach, Kailey got a lot of that from me during the day when she was a baby, she also watched a lot of educational programing. But Emma gets NOTHING at all. I feel bad for her.
I plan on checking into some sort of day care that she doesn't have to go to all week that may cost much less just for educational purposes. I feel that she is not getting anything right now and she needs something.
I hope that maybe she can get into head start or something... she is just far behind. The doctor said she is ok... about average.. but still I feel bad cause she gets no one on one time and no educational boost.
Emma can never make up her mind on what she wants to play with she is always messing. LOL. I love that little mess maker. Over the weekend Kailey and her daddy went hiking in the smokies, so I went through all of Kaileys clothes and packed them up. I spent almost 12 hours on her room alone. It was an awful mess. Emma kept unfolding all the clothes and handing them to me and saying "thankyou".... she is a silly butt. She also kept trying to sit on my lap while I was folding clothes and sorting them. It was a real pain in the rear.
We have been up to visit my MIL a few times this year. It has been nice. We have gotten to spend plenty of time with her, I plan on going back about once every 3 months. I wish she could come here some to but her life is SO hectic right now.
I have added some pics below. You will see Emma and Kailey and Slaton. Slaton is my husbands nephew, (his sisters son). Slaton is almost exactly a month younger than Emma. She was born 11/20/2011 and he was born 12/25/2011.
She is bigger than him all the way around. But they are both cute as a button. I am sorry I havent had more to post but I have been super busy and as you can see Emma is running at full speed... climbing all over everything and she is a force to be reconed with. You almost have no time for computers at home.
So this year I am going to lose 70 lbs. Yes that is right 70. That would leave me right at 130lbs. I am psyched cause I need to do this. So to give me the extra push I joined a group of people at my work and put up 50.00 which was what it took to get into the challenge. If I don't lose at least 5% of my weight I am going to have to pay a fine of 20.00 and then I lose. Either way, in the end whoever the winner is gets like 80% of the pot and the penalty moneys and whoever comes in second gets the other 20% . It is a great deal.
I hope that I can get down I am staying at 200lbs cause I can't seem to keep a hold on my diet..I also have super skinny friends who don't help me at all. I am trying to make myself stay on the diet I am doing a low calories diet, I am also doing zumba 2 days a week I need to fill another day with a work out but I have no time. I am super excited because i intend to make it the 12 weeks and at least be 175lbs. 160lbs at the least. I am working very hard and I am hoping to meet my goal.
The kids and I have all had a bad bought of sickness since just after thanksgiving. The head crud, the stomach crud the chest crud you name the crud and we had it.
I am so glad we are almost done with cruds. I am so sick of being sick. I hope we don't catch nothing else. Emma has a horibly runny nose this week and she just got over ear infections. I am hoping this wont become a repeated thing... nasal crud, ear infections, nasal crud again and then back to ear infections cause that would just get way out of hand.
Just after christmas we went to visit Buddy's mom and step dad. By we I mean me and the girls he never goes so we took the almost 4 hour trip to war west virginia. I love visiting his mother we talk and since she has his niece and 2 nephews the kids play. His one nephew is the same age as Emma and his niece and other nephew are a year older and a year younger than kailey. They all get along with each other pretty well.
I am going to try and take the kid's back up there for his nieces birthday party in Feb. It is really funny how the kids all have birthdays in a roll,Dakota (Buddy's youngest brothers son) was born in November Briar (his sisters first) was born in December, Kailey (our first) in January, Olivia (sisters second) in February, then on the second wave it was Reason (his middle brothers son) in September, Emma in (our second) Nov, and Slaton (sisters 3rd) in December... these last three were born in the same year, but the first 4 are all a year apart, in the same order lol which is odd. I guess none of us can have spring/summer babies lol.
I have been trying to get my truck fixed it has some minor issues but I want them resolved. I hope that, that gets done soon. Kaileys 7th Birthday went well. I felt bad cause no one who was supposed to come came, people who werent coming showed up but they were all family members.
I havent been posting because of all the sickness but I am going to try to get back to posting on a weekly basis. I hope that I don't stop again.
I felt so proud of myself. I was prepared for Emma's Birthday. I was not so prepared on thanksgiving but made it through. I am so happy cause I did all my christmas shopping for the kiddos in September though I put it all in lay-a-way until black friday. It was done. All I have to do is wrap it. I recently was given the opportunity to buy Kailey a 4-wheeler, a 50cc pink girls 4-wheeler. I started thinking BIRTHDAY cause I had done went all out for christmas.
One thing is Kailey has never gotten anything out side of christmas and her birthday. The worst part is that they are so close together. We had never taken her to the store to get her toys, we never have to fight with her about the toy isle, and that is why we made the rule no toys unless it is a birthday or a holiday. We didn't want to have that child. COME ON you all know someone with that kid that you go into walmart and they are kicking and screaming about the toys and if you do take them over there they are whaleing about how you didn't let them have one... we are not going there.
I hope Kailey likes the 4-wheeler, cause Terry Smith has it right now and he is making sure it is in tip top running order cause these people had it and their daughter rode it 4 times when they bought it for her for like 5 min and then it sat in their heated/aired garage until I bought it. So I was thankful not only for the price but with the fact that it was all nice and new looking. I am now looking at atv type helmets that are cool and will match.
I hope that all goes well for our Christmas this year. After Christmas like literally a day or two later I am traveling to take the kids to see their paternal grandma and grandpa. So everyone keep me in your prayers as I travel to do so. It is tough traveling with 2 kiddos by yourself. Buddy refuses to go cause he says her house is too crowded. But honestly it is your family they will always make room. We are not moving in with them.
Currently she has our niece and 2 nephews (5, 8, and 1) living with her and granny Jean lives with her now to. It is a 3 bedroom house and she does want to see the girls so she will make room for us to stay. We would stay in a hotel but it is about an hour away... so it is kind of hard to want to do that.
So I hate seeing sad things in the news. Some times the human race just seems to amaze me. I know everyone has seen or heard about the CT elementary school shooting. It is awful some man who has no children chose to go into this elementary school and kill 20 children and 6 people he didn't even know. I cant get it off my mind though it doesn't help to think about it.
I wish that all schools had armed guards at all doors. There should be no child afraid to go to school for fear of being shot especially in kindergarten and first grade! I have never held a grudge against a small child. There is no excuse for children to die no matter what country they live in, no matter for what reason.. There is never a good enough reason for a child to be slaughtered.
I hope to get on here and add my christmas card and my latest pictures of my kiddos tomorrow.
We had Emma's birthday party over the weekend last weekend. My friend Melissa came and brought her daughter Kristen. My friend Crystal and her man Adam came they had no children this weekend cause this was her child free weekend. My cousin Erin and her husband Wes came and they brought Alexis, Garret and Emily. It was fun cause Melissa painted faces. We kept it low key. My parents came as well.
So here is a video of Emma and her cake ;-). She Daintily picked at it as if it was going to make a mess :-(.
Here is Emma with her presents she was slightly sleepy and a bit overwhelmed
Here are some pics of the face painting and the fun stuff
So I took the week of thanksgiving off. On Monday I took Emma to the doctor, because on Saturday she slept almost all day except for her party which she was tired through. She had a runny nose but has been teething so I thought maybe that was why.
We got to the doctor at about 3pm. I had called my mother to pick Kailey up at the bus stop. I told the doctors of her continuous sleep, and they checked her for diabetes, they strap a bag to her downstairs and had her pee in to the bag to check for this, she was not happy. Then they took blood which she did very well she sat there and let Mrs. Brandy poke her finger and they took her blood that way. Her Iron was low, her white blood cell count was high. Since Emma was already scheduled for a Routine 1 year checkup in 2 more days we were coming back anyway so they said they would follow up with us then.
Tuesday I met my two good co-worker friends out for lunch. This was Emma's actual birthday, she was tired, but we went to Gondolier to eat with Amanda, and Melissa anyway. They brought Emma a large piece of 5 layer cake, this cake was some kind of Chocolate, redvelvet, white cake, and fudge cake all in one. It was seriously 5 LAYERS of different cake. Emma enjoyed it. She even shared some with her pants.
Wednesday Kailey was out of school. Emma was had her one year checkup. So it was up early in the morning to go out to the doctor. Dr. Moose sent her to the hospital to get blood work (like more indepth bloodwork) to make sure nothing bad is going on with her because she is on like day 5 of a sleeping spree. She is hardly up she wants to sleep and when she is awake she plays or follows me whinning wanting to be picked up... she has never been this way, when she follows me whinning she wants to go back to sleep... she is tired. So now we wait for Monday, that is when the results will be back on her blood work.
Thursday of course TURKEY DAY. I had started cooking yesterday, I made the chickin and dumplings and pinto beans and they had been cooking since about 5pm. I got Emily (my favorite niece) a present for her birthday which is none other than turkey day this year. She was born on Thanksgiving, and I think this is the first year since her birth that her birthday fell on thanksgiving. Since we aren't going to get to see her today because they spend the holidays with my cousins husbands family... I gave her, her present yesterday.
I rented movies from the red box but Buddy went to bed and I was up till 3am watching them. Thanksgiving day is gonna be rough. Like every year (even the year I had Emma) I have to cook everything. My grandparents were supposed to come over but they stopped by and my grandmother made excuses. I started cooking at 8am. Buddy started to put the deep fryer together at 9, but it was messed up so I took it to walmart and one of their fellas put it together, I bring it back home and it was malfunctioning big time. So I ran to the store and bought another and had them assemble this one. This one didn't work well either (this years turkey deep fryers were an off name brand for the same price as the good kind but for some reason no one sold the good kind) We finally got the last one to work appropriately for the massive Birds we were ready to deep fry.
I have never oven cooked a Turkey in the oven. I am not sure why, the first year that Buddy and I had thanksgiving together was the year I was pregnant with Kailey. We deep fried our first bird because Buddy's mom and step dad had gotten the deep fryer but they were too afraid to use it so we decided to and we have never went back. Just because you can cook a bird within an hour depending on size. It cooks a bird at 3min per pound. We had 2 18 lbers so we had to do each at an hour.
Great great birds best juicy tasting ever. Either way I had made like 10 different sides. My mother and father were supposed to come down and my mother was supposed to help cook, but around the time I finished everything and was setting up all the tables and everything my father calls says my mother is sick and he is just coming down. So he comes down as we are sitting at the table.
We all eat and then I make my grandparents, and my mother a plate of food. I sent a crock pot of beans next door to my grandpa, I make some of the best homade soup (pinto) beans. I also sent a large butter bowl of Chicken and Dumplings next door. I enjoyed getting to see my grandparents for a bit but was aggrivated they didn't come because my grandmother acts like their is no place better than her chair at home in front of the TV... my papaw really wanted to come over here.. he came got out of his car and sat down and you could tell he wanted to stay but my grandmother didn't want to.
I wish that we had more family and that at least once every few years we could go somewhere else to eat... not everyone come here and I cook every last thing and we have all sorts of stress and disrupt at my house.
So here are some pics of my little miss Emma eating her thanksgiving meal... this is her first real thanksgiving, last year she was just a few days old so this year she got to feed herself.
This morning I woke up early and ran to Kmart, I had to pick up all the presents I put in to lay-a-way. I got two huge black contractors bags full of childrens toys. I think my girls got 12 things apeace. I hope they love their toys. I am so happy that we can provide for them. I don't think Kailey got all she wanted, but she should like what she got. She has never gotten upset for not getting exactly what she wants...I am proud to say she was raised right. Her birthday comes right after christmas so I am not too concerned that just leaves some good things for her to get at her birthday party.
In a week I will go put all of her birthday presents in lay-a-way and her birthday will be taken care of. I am so happy. I also ran the turkey deep fryer back to Wal-Mart you know the malfunctioning one that shot flames straight up in the air and about fried more than a turkey.
Well that is all for now I am watching the change up, and then I am going to bed gotta get up for Zumba in the morning.
