OK so I will play catchup once again. Yesterday (12/1) I spent the day at work and didn't seem to get a lot done. I left at 8pm from work and came home. Buddy and I have been having discussions here lately but Ill have to keep those a secret he is SO indecisive though I can't stand it... you can't say lets do this and when it is almost time lets not do this! IT IS DRIVING ME MAD!!! lol. So my night wasn't SO long once I got home not to long after I was in bed.
Today though I had taken off, I had lots of appointments to take care of for Kailey and myself, it was annoying. I cleaned house before I left! I picked my mother up, went to Kailey's appointment and then to mine. Both didn't take SO long but apparently according to the clock they did.
Maybe there will be more go on when it is warm, right now it is hard to do outside work, because even though I am almost 26-years-old I have Arthritis, it is in my hips and knees and seems to take over my body in the winter like a deadly disease. I can't wait till Christmas either, even though I don't expect to get anything I just assume it is going to be a good holiday all around.
My house is spotless because my mom the super cleaner came over after our appointments to wait on my father who is super sluggish about getting his butt in gear. He didn't get here until almost 3-hours later. But I cleared out all the garbage from my home and I feel SO much better. Tomorrow Buddy is off work I am going to spend the first half of the day paying bills and grocery shopping, while also trying to find our daughter some white shoes that will look good with her black cheer outfit. I am SO excited about her being in the parade.
I wish Tennessee stayed at least moderately warm 24/7 I mean I love the nice breezy nights but the cold 24/7 is totally uncalled for. I love living in TN but I saw something on Yahoo where they are giving away land in other states.. that is odd for 2010! I mean it sounds like something they would have done a long time ago!
But for real some of it isn't worth moving for. Other's are the way I like it way out in the middle of Pioneer ville no where, where you gotta build your crap from the ground up. No city traffic no animal hating neighbors.
I am sitting here at home right now blogging to no one, maybe Anna, lol, she may read this but I am not sure. I am watching 19 kids and counting and wondering how these people do it. There are way too many kids...I get nervous with one, I feel I am falling apart when I get her out in a parking lot and she can't stand still, instead she is running around me in circles scaring the pooh out of me.
I wish that it was as easy as they make it sound! I mean seriously as working women and men we know that in order to make the bills you need two incomes! NOT ONE! Hell we tried one and it caused way too much drama we lived without a lot and it was awful. Not luxuries either we lived without things we needed! Clothes, shoes, ects... we just did without it. Then since you have 2 incomes that means you got to get a third party to practically raise your child... Yes despite you workers out there shaking your head unless you have some awesome family members without mental disease or defect to help you out every step of the way you don't know who is influencing your kids.
At this point my dream is to own my own business, make money while being a stay at home mom and getting to enjoy staying at home and knowing where my daughter is. I think it would be awesome to be a bit less stressed. It seems right now I go to work at dark, come home at dark, and someone else spends all day with my daughter, she disrespects and acts out towards me but I have no choice, maybe one day she will understand! I have to work, we owe the bank because we had to replace our central heat and air conditioner after living without it for over a year. It caused lots of problems with our light bill then we just flipped the switch and flat lined it.
We hope to pay them off, but will we ever be debt free? I mean our trucks are paid for and we are thankful for them and have no want to trade them in for newer ones anytime soon, yes we would like to as they both have high miles, but it is not economically a sound decision to make at this point.
We own the house we currently live in, and we owe my grandparents some money but we have been in a penny pinch as Buddy had to take a job somewhere, and it was a job that not only paid more than half - less of what he made before but it also offers no benefits. We aren't married he isn't on my insurance! We have no stable money coming in from his end at this point. I think that there should be programs for the working mother. When I was a child my mother didn't have to work, we made it OK! We didn't have a lot of nice things but it wasn't because my mother didn't work it was because my father liked having his own nice things!
He was an only child raised by his mother and not taught a darn thing! His father was taught to live off the land and work hard for your money but his mother wouldn't allow his father to teach him anything about farming because in her opinion that was peasants work, even though the work my grandfather did paid for her to have all the luxuries she did without having to work.
Why do they not offer free daycare or some kind of free education for those parents who's children are neglected because we work?
I mean my daughter didn't get into preK because I actually have a job. They said that she didn't qualify because I have a job that pays. It didn't matter how much it paid (that was not the issue). In their opinion if you work your kids have a better chance at education than if you don't! I do not understand that!
If I stayed at home my kid would know a lot more, she would get more individual attention, and have more one on one lessons than right now when I am at work 10 hours a day and have to cram everything into my one or two days off. I wish I had the choice in the matter but in my opinion your bills and your name are all you have other than family and all three of those make or break you. You either pay your bills or your name gets smudge and your family suffers! If one income doesn't make it then two are what has to be done.
I think that giving people who don't work free places to send their children is allowing them to get out of their parental responsibilities because most of the time there is nothing wrong with their children (like special ed), most of them find a way to pay for their drugs, or whatever bad habit they have, but those of us with jobs don't have those bad habits or those privileges! Ill see a single mom of three smoking a cigarette and her kids don't have shoes or they are wearing old worn out clothes! Which leads you to think, she is able to buy a 5.00 pack of cigs everyday, living in free government housing, sending her kids to daycare or preK or school, and she don't pay for non of it except the cigs!
Why don't she take that 5.00 go to Good Will and spend it on a pair of decent shoes... if she tells them that 5.00 is all she has they will help her out but no she spent it on cigarettes. Don't get me wrong I am a smoker, although I didn't smoke when I was pregnant I did take the habit back up 2 months after my daughter was born. I have no excuses but I will tell you that my daughter had colic for 6 months, no one would help me, and no doctor did anything about her chronic vomiting, hunger, and screaming! So I turned to cigarettes so I didn't kill her... J/K but it was a stress relief to just put her in her crib when it became too much and walk out side and have a cigarette and clear my head and give it a thought or two about what my next move was going to be with this SCREAMING, VOMITING ALL THE TIME, HUNGRY ALL THE TIME child!
I gave up everything on the day I found out I was pregnant with her, I did everything right as far as being pregnant, no caffeine, sometimes I would indulge in Reese's peanut butter cups, but it was a caffeine, tobacco, and alcohol free environment for her.
I didn't ask for free from anyone, I just think that things like education and child care shouldn't be 100% free for those who don't work. Yes maybe those classes Kindergarten - 12th grade should be free to all. But Pre-K is only free for people who don't works kids, and daycare is only free for those who don't works children as well!! I have to pay half of what I earn to send my daughter to a proper education or to day care which renders us short every week! Yes you pay this weekly it isn't a monthly bill, private pre-k and day care are weekly ordeals from 130 - 160 dollars a week depending on the age of your child. It is totally unmanageable, unless you have a very nice job.
Ok I will stop ranting now, and go about my night I think I will go to bed soon.
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