Life as we know it.

So I always tell myself that I am going to start trying my best to be a really good mom. This is very hard to do. Kailey called her daddy a maniac! Who's child is this? Sometimes I feel like aliens have come down taken my child and left me with this mouthy know it all.

My phone is driving me crazy. It  is a blackberry. I hate it cause my old blackberry was great, this one hardly works, when it does it freezes up and acts all stupid and pisses me off. I know it is insane to get angry at an inanimate object, but hell... I pay for it, it is like a kid, it comes with bills, and instead of taking it to the doctor I am about to give it one hell of an ass whooping!

Last night I stayed up till a bit later than I should, I was talking to an old friend, she and I exchanged 41 messages. I am glad we got to talk. It made me feel real nice. I did learn one thing though... I have created a hard outer shell of which I don't let anyone in. It is a nice thing to learn things about yourself.

I wish I could learn now how to improve my skills so that people at work valued me more than they do. I am an active mind under all of this and I need continuous change. I am like a shark if I stop swimming I will just drowned. I need continuous stimulation to keep me motivated.

Sometimes I feel my boss doesn't value me as much as I think she should. I don't want her kissing my ass and telling me how good I want "special projects" to be included in other inner-office type things. I remember when I first started working here I was always being surprised with special projects... I became a total creature of habit.

I think Pam being out this week has given me great opportunity to broaden my horizons here at work. I have been trying hard to make sure everything is caught up while doing her work and my work and trying to make sure it is done right. I am trying to leave no stone unturned.


So weekend stuff:

I did a lot over the weekend. Friday I worked on getting a new shed as mine has been taken over by rats and buddy. LoL what a perfect combination the love hate kind. I finally got my dryer back and can now fully function doing loads of Laundry. Got Tuck the turtle a new tank. The big ole 55 gallon. I mean the turtle has been with us for 4 years, he deserves a bit better than the 20 gal tank he had.

So now he has this massive tank he seems happy, but we are having a problem making him a dry place to get out of the water. He has out grown his small dock.. and I think it is time to upgrade. Also the hoods on the 55 wont accommodate his reptile light so I gotta solve that problem.

Saturday, I spent the day at home, well most of it. I lazied around the house. I feel like I am getting old. I hate days when I have nothing to do cause I feel like I am wasting my life lol. I mean go back to the notes above... yes the shark in the water thing!

So my Saturday was uneventful for the most part.

My Sunday went OK, I wanted to go to church, woke up to late. I don't think I did anything this day either. Kailey and I just hung out. My parents came by and I stuck around the house to cook and stuff. Buddy grilled out some steaks while I made all the trimmings, lol.

Monday, I woke up almost too late. I took Buddy's truck down town to the Auto Body shop. I then got picked up by Enterprise and they give me the big ol’ Dodge truck. It is a newer model, they gave it to me on E, so I filled it up and went up to meet my friend Anna. We cleaned her yard and her porch. We wanted to take the kids to the park but unfortunately it looked like it was going to rain. So we planned to just get things straightened up before the rain. The rain Never came.

We took the kids to McDonald’s to play in the play area. I tried McDonald’s Oat meal and I was disappointed to see them open a packet of oatmeal pour it into an oat meal cup and add stuff to it. I figured it was a bit more healthier than that.

Anna has went back to work as a personal trainer at the Gym. I would love to take personal training at the gym but it is a bit out of my price range. Not Anna’s fault. I keep telling her we should start working out, outside of the gym, she can take very embarrassing before pictures and use me as her protégé for her clients at the gym. But it seems our plans always go south. I feel UN-motivated as if fat is not motivation enough.

I plan on doing something as soon as I have my surgery. I plan on quitting smoking, I can plan all day but I need the motivation to do so. I need to just do and quit planning.

I just want the surgery to go well, a speedy recovery to ensue, not to gain 200 lbs while being laid up, and to get into shape afterwards.

Today

So, for V-day I got a new bracelet and Necklace from my baby. He is SO sweet. We did, however, need a new washer and dryer, and maybe I should have hinted around to that, but I thought the wet laundry said it all~!

I love him loads lol. Kailey got a heart of Chocolates from him with a teddy bear :-).. then he said " what did you get me" and I said "well since I thought.. (for the past 7 years) you weren't a valentines day person, nothing... I can give you plenty though ;-)"


How pleasant our relationship has been. It is great. Maybe there were a few bumps in the road. But no one died and we are thankful for that. Kailey though has been a sore spot as you is a rein of terror at night!

I wish we could totally get that under control. Hopefully school in August will straighten her out. I hope that she has a good time in school. I worry that she will become the fat kid, though i try not to make a big deal about weight in front of her. There are items I omit from my families diet to steer clear of this problem.

I have a weight issue. Though it is not deadly, I stay on a diet! I don't feel comfortable yet and hopefully one day I will be a perfect size. But until then I know I need to work harder to set a better example for my daughter.

So this summer I hope to get her back into riding. She was doing a good job on her own last summer and even did a good job going over jumps. I don't push her to do anything she doesn't want to do. But I always make it clear if you are going to start it you will finish it.

Hopefully today will continue to go great and there will be no bumps in the road. Thanks everyone who reads my blog. Also remember the code of the internet, if you read it here leave it here.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

Hey all.... I am very happy to say that my honey even though he hates valentines day loves me enough to go to Kay, and get me some jewelry! Very sweet.


We went out to dinner last night that was nice. We ate and neither of us drank. We had a good night over all and I am getting sick of this stuff coming up on Sunday's cause we would have had a way better time if it were on a Saturday. But I was thankful we did anything. NOW I gotta do some sweet stuff for him. I figured we just wouldn't celebrate so now I am caught up in "what do I get my honey for being SO sweet?"


I'm going after work to get him a card to profess my love to him. He probably doesn't know just how much I love him. I hope that in 2011 our relationship gets way better as it did in 2010, and this is a new year and we have a whole year to fall in love all over again.


Yes love is a bit over-rated. But every woman likes to dream and the fact is that, most women enjoy the romantic idea of love! I just wish that the movies would portray it the way it really is. Movies give you this false impression that men are hopelessly romantic and know exactly what to do for a woman at any given time.


This is not true! In my 8 years of being with Buddy it has taken me a long time to figure out that he don't know what is going on. Hell I got my hair done on Saturday, and on Sunday when he seen how much I paid for it he said "I Can't tell a difference, just like last time. It took me showing him old pictures of me before I got my hair done to realize that it had been done!


I guess all men are like that. Kailey I don't think ever sleeps though. I get worried about her sometimes. Whats worse is that I get worried that when schools tarts she will be cranky and all to hell! It bothers me.


Oh and to add to my fairly good weekend, the beginning of the weekend started with Megan accusing me of being racist, instead of calling me she got on face book and posted it on my page, how chicken shit is that? I am first off not racist. Her Mexican boyfriend and crap are none of my business. I can careless! I didn't even make a comment about anyone on her side, apparently though everyone is saying I did. Christie my cousin told her that I was talking crap about her! I never talk to Christie, honestly I haven't talked to her in 2 years!


She claims I was up in the bank running my mouth. Not sure how that is possible cause I don't even go to or bank with the bank she is saying I was at. I think her crack head friends need to lay off the pipe and figure out that they are speaking of the wrong Amanda. Cause I am neither racist, or have time to go around talking about someone I barely see or hear from.


You got problems with me call me don't be childish and hang out behind your computer and talk shit to me as if you are doing yourself a favor! Also know that if I did it I wouldn't have responded to you. Don't make me go as far as blocking numbers and you from my face book page.

This is MY LIFE

So, yesterday, I had told Kailey that I would take her to church after work, Cause it was Wednesday. She was SO excited that she allowed me to cut her finger nails for her, as she normally throws a huge fit when getting her finger nails cut.

I had made arrangements Monday for my surgery! So now I will have surgery on March 10th. I wont be able to walk for a while. So I decided I was going to get my life in order before I have surgery. I spent 2 hours on the phone. I have to get my computers fixed, so I can work from home during my time away from work. I had to find a place to send Cappy cause who will take care of him? So I found a place for him to go. It is a great deal for him and for me.

So I am at work and I get a call from calm old Buddy, he was supposed to go get Kailey and get her ready for church. Instead he tells me "Well, I am going to be late getting home cause I just got rear ended." So I go to meet him at the scene of the accident to bring him Insurance cards cause he didn't have his on him.

It looks like it is going to take a while for him to get it fixed of course I haven't said that to him. Cause they haven't gotten the police report done today, and the guy who is the one to write it is going on a break for the next 4 days after tomorrow.

I went and got Kailey took her home and got her ready in just enough time for church. She did well at church I was surprised. She has been in a horrible mood lately and she acts out horribly because she doesn't get enough sleep. It is awful. I can't hardly take it anymore.

I am sooo sick of her keeping us up all night, we have to work, or one of us would stay home and control the situation. It would be nice if we just had a normal life. I would love it if our life was about normal at least.

My cousin Erin said they totaled out her car and now she has to find a new one. I hope she uses her head and buys a decent car that will work for a while instead of using some dumb asses judgement to get her a car! Yes I am talking about that old boyfriend of hers he seems to hold her up on a lot of things and she is very naive and doesn't realize he is doing it until someone else tells her how things should be and then she is like I am sooo stupid!

I feel bad for her when things like this happened. When her car first got wrecked he said "I will take care of it." he had it towed and never called about anything or did anything to get the ball rolling. We had everything figured out a month later in one day! She was surprised that was all it took and had no clue how it was supposed to go.

So I plan on helping her out now that she has her own apartment. Once she gets in it I will take her around, help her find a new car and get everything in line for her. It is soo difficult but with some guidance she should be able to stand on her own two feet for her and emily in a month or so.

The days of work!!! ugh will it ever end!

OK so not too long ago I came to the realization that no matter what I put in my 401K when my generation is up for retirement, there wont be any, cause they are all sitting on the bums at home right now bumming my 401k money off the system! Either way.. Maybe those are half educated words, but I will tell you something, I hope they have starved to death long before me.. or I am going to become a cannibal.

I am just sick of hearing what a great wealth of crap we are in right now! It sucks ass, there is no reason for the United states to be in this turmoil. Make everyone work and do their fair share and we wont have this problem. The US should be ran as if it were a large family! Everyone has a position in a job of some kind! Don't say "I can't find a job!" well hell, there is always a MC'D's hiring go get a job there!

There are plenty of gas station jobs! Plenty of crap jobs, that you can start at and work your way up! So quit being a leach on society. Society shouldn't allow you to be, you got 2 legs go work. I have seen handicapped people with jobs! It is awesome. I am in pain daily but still work! I don't take pain meds! I don't do drugs, I work and go home to my family and cook and clean and don't just sit around lazying on my ass while others feed and clothe my children! I get sick of it!

We are beyond the days of the stay at home mother! IT is just not do-able. This is an understanding that the US is in such a bad crap hole because my generation and part of the last generation thought that taking advantage of the system was a great way to live! Putting many family's in the proverbial poor house... it is great!

I finally get a letter about "pre K" via email. The Email read pretty much that because there are so many poor under privilege children that they are worried they wont get a good leg up in school. Hmm I see these same children wearing very nice clothes, their parents driving very nice cars! Because they don't work they get everything handed to them and they use education as a baby sitter!

We have here in my town, 2 head starts! Those are for the "poor kids" then 2 pre K programs, those are for the poor kids. But the pre-K website states the following:

Voluntary Pre-K for Tennessee

What is the Governors Plan for the Pre-K Program?

The goal of every Tennessee Pre-K classroom is to provide our 4-year-old children with the learning experiences they need in order to succeed in kindergarten.

The Tennessee Voluntary Pre-K Program for ALL will prepare children for school by providing an opportunity for them to develop school readiness skills in an environment that fosters the love and joy of learning.

Participation in the Pre-K program will help children develop pre-academic and social skills that will help them in their educational career.

Did you read anywhere that Pre-K is for Impoverished children as was stated in the email I was provided by a woman who I am unsure of who she is. The Pre-K program seems to be FOR ALL, but they question you about your income and everything, if you work your children are 100% disqualified and not looked upon again no matter what their limitations are!

Governor Phil Bredesen, with strong bipartisan support from the Tennessee General Assembly, was successful in the passing of the Voluntary Pre-K for Tennessee Act of 2005, increasing the state's investment in Early Childhood Education  (this means my taxes went to provide this service for those who don't do shit to deserve it) and access for students. Tennessee has provided $213 million new dollars for Pre-K education since the 2005-2006 school year, creating 786 new classrooms serving an additional 15,000 preschoolers across Tennessee.

http://tn.gov/education/prek/factsheet.shtml
No where on the above website does it say that Pre-K is for the impoverished children who's parents are too lazy to work! It claims that there are kids on waiting lists... you can only qualify at a certain age!! I was never made aware of a waiting list!

Either way I was told that someone would get back to me if a spot came available. Most of the impoverished children's parents are to lazy to take them and they don't offer Pre-K bus pickup! So I know half the students didn't come! I am just sick of all these things being offered to the greedy, who choose to play impoverished to get everything for free! I know many people like this they work the system so they never have to work!

The system makes it SO much easier to do this than to get a job! I am paying for it and I am pissed!

Such an interesting weekend!

So I have learned that Buddy doesn't like to share me with anyone. Either that or he thinks everyone takes advantage of me. He claims I can't say no to anyone and that is why I do the things I do. But to be honest with you if I don't want to do it I will say "NO"!

I love my friend Anna, I also love her momma, I know that they both needed help. I wish I could have given them big strong men to help load and unload, but I could not.

I drove my truck, and took a U-haul with Anna on Friday morning to go to North Carolina to get all her daddy's stuff and help her mother load everything she was going to bring. We started our trip in Mascot, where it was not raining. Then we finished it in Mebane North Carolina where it was piss pouring down and cold as hell.

We loaded everything in the rain, while Anna's Sister molly and her boyfriend laid up in the house not helping at all. They live there for free and the least they could do was lend a bit of a hand.

We got everything loaded by midnight, got Justin (the BF) to help us hook the U-Haul back to my truck and went inside. Finally we discarded all our wet clothing, took showers and ate something.

After that we were in bed by 1:30 or so. It was awful! The next morning same thing, we loaded last minute Items, in the rain, had to jack a bolder up to get it out of our way, as the driveway was crumbling beneath the tires and we couldn't just pull out because of the bolder. We did all this in the rain. Got it on the road.

A very sweet trucker helped us with the light hookup, as it was not working properly due to some physical damage to it. We got the lights working. Although the roads were not visibly sound, we made our way home.

It took us for ever but we pulled into Mascot at about 5pm. We unloaded the back of my truck and dropped the U-Haul at Anna's and she had someone else to haul it back to the U-Haul place.

Sunday, she that person didn't come through for her, he claimed something was wrong with his truck. So she went and asked a friend of mine who lived down the road from her. He said he would come do it but didn't show up! Then she tried asking others at the gas station. No one would do it for her. IT was stupid.

The super bowl was Sunday. Our team lost, we had friends and family over for it. Bought pizza, wings, alcohol, drinks ects. It was a fun game to watch but the men were horribly sore over the loss of the Steelers. It was awful.

Kailey went and stayed at my mothers, Buddy was upset over the loss of his team and missed Kailey. I felt awful for him but was not going out drunk to get her from my mothers at 11pm only to turn around and take her back at 6 am!

We had a good night though afterwards and went to bed. I woke up mostly on time and got a good hot shower, in our dirty bathtub. (Only dirty cause I had to clean a cooler in it. It sucked)

Mad it to work by 6:30am and I'm going to get Kailey early from my mothers so she can be at home when Buddy gets there.

Its only tuesday?

So I realize it is only Tuesday, that sucks. Friday I am leaving to go out of town with my best friend Anna, we are going to help her mother move. I got to go get a new battery for my truck and see if this fixes my problems. Hopefully it does cause it seem to want to die on me. It is either that or the alternator. I am SO sick of things being wrong. My truck is great but I can't deal with it breaking down 7 hours away.


So now with all that said I am tired today. Buddy and I spent the weekend Prank Dialing people. What is this you ask? Well Prank Dial is online, prankdial.com and you can prank call people with recorded messages that they most of the time respond to other times they hang up... but it records it and you can post it to your FB or even just go back in your prank history and listen to them. They are hilarious.


We prank dialed my cousin but his mother picked up and she was like I don't understand. He is a 40 year old closet gay, and the prank dial recording we chose was the muffin man... which is hilarious. But his 80 year old mother picked up and she was just like are you drunk? lol...


I prank dialed my cousin Karen and she wasn't much fun we picked "your daughter kicked my dog" for her. She didn't like that very much. Now understand these are people I do not communicate with so I can't just call and tell them I pranked them that would make them angry!


So it is funny to go back in my prank history and see that my aunt Edith got 4 calls from the muffin man which was unintentional lol. My cousin Erin doesn't know it called her 4 times though. She is the only one it did it to. So I am kind of surprised. Buddy pranked his uncle last night and he got angry with the guy accusing him of calling his girl friend.


So this is a good clean fun way to enjoy yourself prank dialing people from your computer. You don't have to put your number in, lol, you just put the receivers number in, and whatever number you choose. lol.