Havent posted in a while

So someone very near and dear to me broke my heart. I cried it out for 2 days, most people who really know me, know I don't cry... there's normally no point in it. Even Buddy knows I don't cry.  

So I have been real depressed and sad about the whole situation. I have felt very betrayed and I didn't know what to do about it. I have been trying to deal with it my own way but instead I have mopped around and cried about it only after loosing sleep 2 nights in a row, then finally getting a half nights sleep then loosing sleep again. I know I am pregnant I need to sleep. I am also human and need to weep!

SO with all that said. I am going to try to start this weekend off tomorrow by Not getting any more dramatic things going, instead I will move things around in my house and try to get dressers for my daughter cause she has no furniture, all she has now is a bed, and a bunch of clothes with no home.

I feel so lame sometimes, we both have good jobs, lots of bills, and we don't try to live well beyond our means but we seem to never have the extra money when we need it for things like a dresser or two for our 5-year-old...ugh these are the days that get me down.

I plan on moving some furniture tomorrow, I plan on this weekend not being like last, I gotta move on and be happy or I will waste away in my self pity and sadness. I figure if I can just get Kailey's Room back in order and get the crib sat up in the babies room it would be nice.

I would just be happy to have a clean house for once. I was saying today to my co-workers it is very sad in our house we have 1 dresser, it is buddy's lol... the furniture for Kailey's room started falling apart about a year or so ago, and I finally got fed up with putting it back together when we started the remodel now it is going to the dump.

My dresser I got rid of cause it was falling apart as well... all the drawers had just about fallen apart on it... for no reason. It is ridiculous. Our house is so cluttered anyways, If I don't get that furniture for the baby I am going to thrift shop, I have a crib but no crib mattress cause Kailey's dry-rotted, but it was used when we got it for Kailey.

I am so ready for this baby to be out. I wish that we would get a name picked out for her, her room is done and I am happy with the color but not the trim. The floor is awesome to. I hope She is a happy healthy baby. I would love to have a sweet quite baby this time. But I will love her all the same as I did Kailey.

I miss Kailey being a baby despite the colic. Well I am going to get off of here, I hope that anyone reading my blog will maybe say a prayer for me as I am still sad and a bit depressed about the goings on here in the real world. The person who broke my heart, broke it good and they I think are starting to realize it. I don't know how I will ever forgive them but I hope that someday we can have our love and trust for one another back! I am just going to give them some time and see how things go. But they know who they are and know I no longer trust them and that I was deeply hurt by what they did.

Well I hope everyone hasn't dropped off reading my blog just cause I haven't posted in a while. Hell I don't even know who reads it! Just know that I like the fact someone might. IT is a great release if you don't have anyway or anyone to relieve your stress by venting to them this is the best way! It is the ultimate friend, as it never says anything back. It never complains about my bitching and I never have to beg it for a moment of its time! Awesome huh?

I don't even have to trust it with the information cause I already know it can't keep a secret lol. Have a Good day everyone.