So I am going through a lot. Apparently I am not special, not to anyone. I have been very depressed. I am not a cryer, but today I find myself crying and trying to keep anyone from seeing me. I hate being at work today, if I didn't have an apointment tomorrow I would just go home.
I feel like crawling under a rock and hiding, but I can't. I just want to run away and take a vacation from life. Im soo tired. Apparently I have failed everyone in my life no matter how hard I have tried. I just need a break!
I went camping over the weekend. Thursday night was supposed to just be kailey and I as buddy had to work on friday. Buddy ended up coming back and camping with us but pissin and moaning at bed time cause Kailey wouldn't quit moving.
Friday was a run around day, so I left camp, ran to the house took a shower and went to the doctor. Doctor says that I have to continue to wrap my toes. So then I had to keep on running around to get everything for the camping trip. I went to Home depot got an outdoor carpet. Ran to shoneys ate brunch with Kailey. Ran to food city got all the food. Ran home to get the coolers and the grill (all of which I had to load all by myself.) ran down to the shell and got 6 bags of ice, then went back to the camp ground.
It started pouring rain when I pulled back in, so I was able to get the one cooler out and bring it over to the awning area so that I could put food in along with ice. Then I just left the grill and the other cooler cause both were to heavy.. It had taken everything for me to get the grill into the back of the truck let alone getting it out.
So then Buddy finally comes by, and he is mad that I didn't put the carpet out, or get the grill out or do all of the stuff to set up camp. This upset me cause it had been raining and I was very tired. Friday night was not very eventful we had a camp fire, ate burgers and hot dogs, and just sort of hung out.
Saturday morning I went and got Erin and apparently she decided she wasn't going to camp. She was all over Kailey all day, which caused Kailey to act worse. But finally we had some fun. Wes showed up to get Erin, and she talked him into going canoing, they flipped the canoe into the pond which was hilarious.
Kailey and I were watching them, and we couldn't stop laughing. We finally went back to camp and they left and then buddy and I sat and talked for a while. This talk was different, and some things really hurt my feelings, even though he didn't want them to. I am just having a hard time over some of the stuff he said.
I am so confused, upset, sad, lonely, maybe it is just hormones. I just feel like running away. Sunday through today have been the miserable days, my life is a wreck and I just want to escape it. I can't stand being this sad.
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