So I always tell myself that I am going to start trying my best to be a really good mom. This is very hard to do. Kailey called her daddy a maniac! Who's child is this? Sometimes I feel like aliens have come down taken my child and left me with this mouthy know it all.
My phone is driving me crazy. It is a blackberry. I hate it cause my old blackberry was great, this one hardly works, when it does it freezes up and acts all stupid and pisses me off. I know it is insane to get angry at an inanimate object, but hell... I pay for it, it is like a kid, it comes with bills, and instead of taking it to the doctor I am about to give it one hell of an ass whooping!
Last night I stayed up till a bit later than I should, I was talking to an old friend, she and I exchanged 41 messages. I am glad we got to talk. It made me feel real nice. I did learn one thing though... I have created a hard outer shell of which I don't let anyone in. It is a nice thing to learn things about yourself.
I wish I could learn now how to improve my skills so that people at work valued me more than they do. I am an active mind under all of this and I need continuous change. I am like a shark if I stop swimming I will just drowned. I need continuous stimulation to keep me motivated.
Sometimes I feel my boss doesn't value me as much as I think she should. I don't want her kissing my ass and telling me how good I want "special projects" to be included in other inner-office type things. I remember when I first started working here I was always being surprised with special projects... I became a total creature of habit.
I think Pam being out this week has given me great opportunity to broaden my horizons here at work. I have been trying hard to make sure everything is caught up while doing her work and my work and trying to make sure it is done right. I am trying to leave no stone unturned.
So weekend stuff:
I did a lot over the weekend. Friday I worked on getting a new shed as mine has been taken over by rats and buddy. LoL what a perfect combination the love hate kind. I finally got my dryer back and can now fully function doing loads of Laundry. Got Tuck the turtle a new tank. The big ole 55 gallon. I mean the turtle has been with us for 4 years, he deserves a bit better than the 20 gal tank he had.
So now he has this massive tank he seems happy, but we are having a problem making him a dry place to get out of the water. He has out grown his small dock.. and I think it is time to upgrade. Also the hoods on the 55 wont accommodate his reptile light so I gotta solve that problem.
Saturday, I spent the day at home, well most of it. I lazied around the house. I feel like I am getting old. I hate days when I have nothing to do cause I feel like I am wasting my life lol. I mean go back to the notes above... yes the shark in the water thing!
So my Saturday was uneventful for the most part.
My Sunday went OK, I wanted to go to church, woke up to late. I don't think I did anything this day either. Kailey and I just hung out. My parents came by and I stuck around the house to cook and stuff. Buddy grilled out some steaks while I made all the trimmings, lol.
Monday, I woke up almost too late. I took Buddy's truck down town to the Auto Body shop. I then got picked up by Enterprise and they give me the big ol’ Dodge truck. It is a newer model, they gave it to me on E, so I filled it up and went up to meet my friend Anna. We cleaned her yard and her porch. We wanted to take the kids to the park but unfortunately it looked like it was going to rain. So we planned to just get things straightened up before the rain. The rain Never came.
We took the kids to McDonald’s to play in the play area. I tried McDonald’s Oat meal and I was disappointed to see them open a packet of oatmeal pour it into an oat meal cup and add stuff to it. I figured it was a bit more healthier than that.
Anna has went back to work as a personal trainer at the Gym. I would love to take personal training at the gym but it is a bit out of my price range. Not Anna’s fault. I keep telling her we should start working out, outside of the gym, she can take very embarrassing before pictures and use me as her protégé for her clients at the gym. But it seems our plans always go south. I feel UN-motivated as if fat is not motivation enough.
I plan on doing something as soon as I have my surgery. I plan on quitting smoking, I can plan all day but I need the motivation to do so. I need to just do and quit planning.
I just want the surgery to go well, a speedy recovery to ensue, not to gain 200 lbs while being laid up, and to get into shape afterwards.
No comments:
Post a Comment